The Allure of Hiding

The first humans (Adam + Eve) did something they weren't designed to do and rather than directing their desires at the God who could meet them, they directed them toward something else. When they came into awareness of what they had done, they followed a familiar formula:

1. Hide

2. Blame

3. Shame

Not much has changed since the first humans got caught up in the mess of sin! How often do we, too, follow this same pattern! Before I continue, let me provide some language for sin. When I think of sin, I think of a few things:

• a good desire that is misplaced

• missing the mark (aiming the whole of your life away from love of God, love of others, and love of self)

• anything that pushes against the Kingdom of God and the Way of Jesus

• a distortion of reality (giving your allegiance to the illusion of another ideology or worldview)

Before I continue, I am specifically addressing those of us who follow Jesus (though those who don't may still connect to what I'm addressing here). When people come to an awareness of some sort of sin they find themselves tangled in, we often do EXACTLY what those first humans did: we hide. We are SO convinced that if no one knows about what we did, said, or thought, we will continue to live a life of safety, acceptance, and community. We couldn't be further from the truth! The safety, acceptance, and community we're experiencing is merely based off the image of ourselves that we're wanting to portray for others. An image that has everything figured out, has nothing to learn, has mastered "morning devo time", and doesn't experience the enticement of sin. We convince ourselves that THIS is the life we want. Little conflict, little vulnerability, a build up of small talk interactions, and love as deep as a drought.

Friends, the allure of hiding is real: hide behind the trees, shape your image how you want, shift blame to others, and you'll never be rejected. At times, you think you may step out from behind the trees and into the light as your vulnerable self, but shame pulls you back into the shadows.

Shame tells you:

• You are what you do

• You are your mistakes

• You are your worst moment

• You are unworthy of God's love and the love of others

• You are only as good as your best moments

• They won't accept you

• They won't embrace you

• God won't accept you

• God won't embrace you

• They will abandon you

• Stay in the shadows, it's safer here

You see, shame likes to IDENTIFY you, but God has already identified you as His beloved and one made in His image. Shames likes to ISOLATE you, but God has established a new kind of family for you (one beyond the walls of your home). The pattern of sin, hiding, blaming, and shame can feel like a never-ending cycle for you, but the good news is that Jesus made a way for you to be FREE from the powers of shame and hiding. Practically speaking, there are TWO significant steps that need to be taken to step out of the shadows of the trees and into the light of God's embrace:

1. Shift the way you think about God

2. Find safe people in the family of God, and practice vulnerability

A.W. Tozer says, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

If we do some honest introspection, we could probably find a thought or two about God that manifests itself in poor treatment of ourselves and others. How we think about God MATTERS. If our images of God are ugly, we will likely treat ourselves and others in ugly ways. Lucky for us, there is beautifully simple way to shift our thinking! Jesus is the visible image of an invisible God and came to make what was unclear about God, clear. If you want to know what God is like, look to Jesus!

Brian Zahnd often says, "God is like Jesus. God has always been like Jesus. There has never been a time when God was not like Jesus; we haven’t always known this, but now we do."

When I find myself getting trapped in ugly thoughts about God, I think about Jesus and that Brian Zahnd quote! When you're stuck behind the trees of shame and hiding, remind yourself that God's disposition toward you is LOVE. Remind yourself that if you step out from the tree, God will embrace you. It is in God's embrace, that we can truly find freedom and healing from the sin that devours us.

I have a confession. For years I have confidently enjoyed life with God in the beautiful, Jesus-looking, shame free ways mentioned above. I've had NO problem running to God time and time again with the sin in my life, and I'm thankful for that. For those with a different experience, I pray that the Spirit would meet you and powerfully change your image of God and your experience with Him! Okay, back to my confession: it's not God I have a hard time running to, it's people. I have a high value of friendship and treating my friends and those I hold close as family. It TERRIFIES me to bring my vulnerable self to people out of a fear of rejection, abandonment, and my struggle with shaping my image exactly how I think it needs to be for others. People are tangible. I can see them, touch them, eat meals with them, and watch Nebraska football games with them. Go Big Red! Shame and hiding convince me that I can keep all that if I just remain behind the trees. Shame convinces me that if I'm vulnerable, share a confession, or invite someone into my brokenness, then I will lose my community, my influence, my power, and the embrace of those I care about most. Oof! Sounds like some major stuff to be unpacked. To be clear, I have come to a place of acknowledgement with these shadows in my life, and have been working through it alongside wonderful friends, mentors, and my wife.

I am the first to admit that giving your vulnerable self over to the hopeful embrace of others is hard. Your past experiences may tell you that no one is safe. It's going to take some work to find safe people, develop meaningful relationships, and invite someone into a broken part of your life. But the work is worth it! Here's what I know: if you stay hiding, your heart will ache your entire life. It will appear easier, but deprive your soul of everything it longs for. If you come out of hiding to someone safe, the trajectory of your life will never be the same. Scripture tells us that confession to one another leads to healing! (James 5:16)

A friend of mine once said, (paraphrase) "refusing to confess is like holding in puke. Your body needs the puke out of you in order to heal. Confession is like getting rid of the puke in your body that is causing you harm."

What if you risked it? What if you decided to step out from the trees and into the embrace of another? What if you got rid of the junk inside you that is causing harm? Pray that God would give you courage to start a conversation with someone this week. It's ALWAYS a good week to experience the freedom, healing, and love that Jesus has for you. In the meantime, what could it look like for you to create spaces of embrace for others? I wonder how you could contribute to other's image of God as they experience their shame fade in the warmth of your embrace.

So, to sum things up:

The allure of hiding is real.

Shame will keep you behind the trees.

Jesus makes a way for you to experience freedom from shame and hiding.

Shift how you think about God.

Practice vulnerability with safe people.

Be God's embrace for others.

May the freedom of God's embrace be more powerful than the shadow of the trees of shame and hiding, and may you embrace others as God embraces you. It is in embrace that the gift of repentance can be enjoyed.

Peace,

Ryan