Fear of the Ordinary

For those who have been following along since the first blog, you know that I began my Sabbatical at the end of April.

During my preparation for a 3-month Sabbatical, I expressed some fears and tension I was experiencing deep within myself. One of those fears was what I'll call, "the fear of the ordinary."

By ordinary, I mean the every day ebbs and flows of life. The things that wouldn't be worthy of an aesthetic Instagram post, a thrilling conversation with your barista, or an enticing illustration to use in a sermon to illicit an emotional response. Ordinary is what most people are experiencing. Extraordinary is what celebrities, professional athletes, influencers, business sharks, millionaires, and "millennial college drop-outs turned world traveler" are experiencing. At least, that's the narrative we often hear and buy into. We often believe the lie that in order to experience joy, peace, and rest within our souls, that we need to attain a life that is constantly exciting, thrilling, surprising, and adventurous. This lie tells us that marriage is old-school and restricting. Working at your local coffee shop is for those without vision. Sitting on a chair in your front lawn watching the movement of birds, people, and cars is for sad loners. Having a conversation with a neighbor outside is a waste of time. Sitting around a table over a meal with friends is a boring comparison to a night of thrill seeking at a club. These are the lies that we can so easily believe as we chase anything that "rescues" us from boredom, ordinary, and mundane.

But what if the ordinary is sacred?

What if everything could be a channel of God's grace?

What if the ordinary IS extraordinary because we can access God's presence in all things?

What if our chase for thrills, spiritual highs, and obsession for BIG experiences is numbing us from the beauty that can be found in everyday, ordinary life?

Odds are, a life of constant thrills, adventure, and immense financial wealth is off the table for you. So why not live an ordinary life with extraordinary purpose, joy, peace, and presence to God and those around you?

I am very thankful for the opportunity to experience a 3-month Sabbatical! This is something that most people will not get to experience and I truly enter into this opportunity with the most gratitude and humility. However, here's the tension I carried with me into my Sabbatical: most of my life is ordinary and it seems that many people have expressed some sort of expectation (including myself) that my Sabbatical would be equivalent to a 3-month expedition through the Amazon Rainforest, the Sahara Desert, to the top of the Pyramids of Giza, and concluding with a week at Disney World! I know, I know. This is a dramatic way of communicating that I carried with me a lot of pressure to do something extraordinary, learn something extraordinary, experience something extraordinary, etc., etc. Hear me loud and clear when I say that I am not innocent in the creation of this tension. If I had better practices of living in the ordinary and fully conquered the lies I still believe and live out of, I would not have carried all that tension, pressure, and fear with me. I have contributed to my own less-than-desirable ways of approaching the ordinary of life.

It's so easy to know ABOUT truth, but incredibly difficult to actually KNOW truth and to embody it with our whole being.

What happens when the stage, microphone, social media platform, and blog are taken away? What happens when our comforts, jobs, stability, and money are taken away? Sprinkle in some pain, exhaustion, and messy relationships. Do you still believe that God is as accessible as ever in the ordinary? Do you still believe that your soul's deepest needs and desires can be met on a park bench in conversation with the Triune God? Do you still trust that when all the thrills and comforts are stripped away that a full life in the Kingdom of God is available to you?

Going into my Sabbatical has felt like a time of moving from knowing ABOUT this truth to actually KNOWING it. The last month has been a time where all my ideals that can be eloquently preached from stage, on social media, and on a blog, have been put to the test. My life has never been more ordinary. I wake up every morning at 7AM to be with Jesus, take my wife to work at 8AM, my friends go to work all day, my co-workers whom I no longer work with are working all day, I eat a couple meals, read some books and write stuff while camping out at Starbucks, scroll on social media for a bit, lay in the sun with my cat, pull weeds and tend to my lawn, chat with my neighbors, play pickleball (and lose mostly) when my friends are available, clean up around the house a bit, pick my wife up from work at 5PM, lift weights in our garage, go on a walk, make dinner, eat dinner, wash dishes, watch an episode (or two) of a show, then go to bed by 10:30PM.

This will take up 75% of my time on Sabbatical and I'm coming to understand that this 75% is where God is inviting me into deeper access of His loving presence in my life. Below are some of the gifts that God has been revealing to me in this 75%:

1. I've been able to relearn what it looks like to go about a normal day with God at my side

2. I've been able to enjoy life apart from the thrill and purpose that paid ministry can bring

3. I've been able to enjoy a new morning prayer rhythm and protect it as a vital part of my day

4. I've been able to enjoy God's presence at a coffee shop almost everyday through reading, writing, creating, and small interactions with people

5. I've been discovering the joy of obedience in small ways (praying for someone, sharing a word of encouragement with someone, conversing with a neighbor, sharing God's work in my life with others, inviting someone new to my weekly Friday brunch, etc.)

6. I've been learning that times of connection with others is one of the most enjoyable parts of my day/week

and so much more!!

Friends, we can access God's presence and love in every single ordinary moment of our lives. But first, we must learn to tune our attention to the Spirit, practice obedience in the small ways, and "detox" ourselves from the obsession of thrills and spiritual highs.

Every day can be filled with joy, peace, rest, and delight if we learn to "be in two places at once" as John Mark Comer says.

We can mow our lawns and be in conversation with God. We can turn our alarm clock off and turn our attention to God. We can sit in traffic and offer our day's burdens to God. We can grocery shop and listen for a word from God. We can prepare a latte for a customer and offer a word of love. We can be in a staff meeting and deeply aware of God's presence with us. We can go about our ordinary days while also being present to God's presence in front of us, behind us, beside us, above us, below us, all around us, and in the life of every person we encounter throughout our day.

This kind of life is available to you every single day.

Accessing the loving presence of God throughout your day and inviting others into this never-ending dance of love is the beauty of an ordinary life in the Kingdom of God.

I'll leave you with this tip: how you start your day will influence the dance you enter into throughout your day.

I'll also leave you with this confession: I've been intentionally experimenting and unintentionally failing at my morning rhythms since 2020. One of the hardest challenges of my life has been breaking free from the shackles of this usual rhythm:

1. go to bed at an inconsistent time every night

2. scroll on my phone before I decide to sleep

3. snooze my alarm at an inconsistent time every morning

4. scroll on my phone until I feel urgency or shame to get up

5. shower

6. scroll on my phone again

7. drive to work

8. scroll on my phone again in the parking lot before I walk into my office

It would be my hope that many of you reading this don't experience this same rhythm. If you relate to the rhythm above, and were honest with yourself, you would probably agree that it's life-sucking. If you want to begin seeing an ordinary day as a beautiful opportunity to access God's presence, offer God's love, and see all you do as mission, then start your day in God's presence. By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can end the cycle of chasing the next thrill, getting that next dopamine hit, and experiencing the spiritual highs in order to access a life of joy, peace, and rest with God.

More on planning a morning rhythm later. Stay tuned...

Peace,

Ryan